It's in the bag pamela . . . . . . .

Well hello again.  It's my pleasure to have you to visit:)  How's your year going so far?  Good?

I remember sharing my thoughts last January on how I tend to start my NEW year on February 1st.  Anything sooner seemed to take me unawares.

Well, no change there.

But for today, two themes - firstly I'm running down on what was good about last year, completely summed-up in how I spent christmas - secondly I wanted to pass on an insight shared by a friend to a group I've recently joined.

I hope you can find something in all of this that resonates with you, sparks your interest or makes you smile.

So this is christmas, and what have we done? another year over.....................

being reminded what unconditional positive regard actually is by being accepted and embraced wholeheartedly and non-judgementally by SMALL PEOPLE ages two and four....
....breathless anticipation
unfettered joy.....
a warm and welcoming home.....
SMALL PEOPLE being at the centre of the known universe
...fabulous food....(vegan, obviously)
r e l a x a t i o n
and reading:
the Holy Bible and the different accounts of the Nativity, and
the Law of Attraction and how to get into the Vortex and get what you really really want, and
the Power of Now and how diminishing the human Ego can heal both ourselves and the Earth, and
the God Delusion and Richard Dawkin's positive athiesm
and listening:
to the adorable Elbow, and
a zillion christmas carols, and
soaring scorching power ballads (Adele), and
rocking around the (musical!) christmas tree, (the very musical christmas tree (small, green, felt, with bells on) which was switched on and placed by our bed VERY EARLY every morning by small people with ENORMOUS sense of fun!
and soothing and inspiring devotional Kirten songs and chants,
and best of all
Jingle Bells (completely spontaneous performance by said small people - serenaded me from outside locked door, whilst I was reading and relaxing in a bubbly bath) *my own special moment, a nugget of fabulousity and absolute joy* to be carried in my heart forever!
heartachy:
tears for loved ones gone but never forgotten
tears for the recognition of what they meant, and how deeply we can grieve, and how I'm getting through, and
tears for the ghost of christmas past, and
tears for the small people now all grown up and gone
and the knowledge:
that NOW is what it's about
that we are meant to feel joy
that not everyone has to like us
that acknowledgement of self is the first step to anything of value

All-in-all a very MIXED BAG!
Hmmmm.  There was more but I'll spare you for now!

And on to our Circle....a meeting of friends sharing a positive outlook and exploring ideas.  How we view our relationship with life, its meaning, the purpose......one friend put forward her personal position with such eloquence and certainty....I wished I'd taken notes so that I could share with you exactly.  Hers is a system which I'm considering, is it acceptable? or do I 'need more work' on myself (probably).  Her world, physical, her 'out-there' non-physical, the universe and whatever else, seamless and connected in that everything that comes to be is already a part of what is and what could be.  It certainly chimes with me as a marvellous and centred approach.  Thank you!

The theme of the week for the group was 'gratitude' and I'm carrying that forward.

So I'm thankful, so very grateful, for all of the facets and the events of christmas for bringing to clarity all that I'd been through last year and before, and putting things into perspective, and making me feel worthy of such joy and such love.

Love to hear your thoughts!
Love and hugs
pamela xxx

Weaving a path.....

Hello lovely people and thank you so much for sticking with me.  And thank you so very much for your love and kind comments of late.  After I posted  this little lady has given cause for concern since we last spoke - drama and well, 'going through it', but all seems well now, happy in the Outback.  Sheesh!

Anyway, such a lot to talk about.  Snuggle down and get comfy!

So 'Take it from here' . . . a fresh start after Magical Meadows, after shocks and great sadness and grief.  The idea was to fully explore the ideas and experiences that were grabbing my attention, share them here and invite your comments and conversation.  Ah well.....I've been a bit backward about coming forwards with all of that.  So I thank you again for your patience, much appreciated, and now let's push on with the task.

Did you get that?  I'll run it past you again...let's push on with the task....THE TASK?

But just wait a minute.  Hush now.  And now I'm going to dally purposefully.  Because even though the task needs to be brought to your attention and examined I think it's important to take a moment and be aware of the emotional state of mind we/I find ourselves/myself in.

This is why.  Go back a few months.  New (to me) things started to pop up around the edges of my sorry self.  I noticed a Yoga magazine.  I found a couple of weblinks to Feng Shui blogs.  A friend recommended Alexander Technique.  Another friend discussed alternative healing.  I picked up and put down a whole raft of self-help, new-age, spiritual (yeah me, spiritual) books.  I was already 'into Raw', food that is.  I got more into it.  I found myself spending time prodding at my thoughts, noticing my continual poor me, bad mother, done-it-all-wrong-again internal dialogue.  I began to see things I had dismissed years before as 'not for me' had returned, coming to the forefront.  And knew that I was on to something.

My turning point came when on holiday in Scotland.  Away from home when home was A VERY BAD situation with a HUGE task brewing I needed distraction, I needed SERIOUS holiday reading.  First sign of a bookshop had me scuttling in and scurrying out fifty four pounds the poorer but with a bagfull of life/affirming/changing oh my goodness gracious me! Fifty four quid???!!!!  

So, Waterstones, Oban branch, I thank you.  Thanks to you I finally got into law of attraction.  I wouldn't say that I fully 'bought into' the whole scenario (more of this another time maybe, if you're interested) but I felt it's resonance, and could see its relevence in so many of my experiences.  I could see lessons to be learned.  And tools, processes, and practices.  It's religion Jim, but not as we know it.  Well, maybe.

Hmmm.  Lesson one.  Enlightenment doesn't come cheaply.
Yoga mat.
Juicer.
AT sessions.
Swimming.
Guided meditation tapes.
Yoga dvds.
Exercise bike.
Walking boots.
Supplements.
Kirten and chanting cd's
More yoga magazines.
Raw food recipe books
and
more
BOOKS
and
more.

Now then.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining.  Far from it.  I'm not unhappy.  The first step, maybe even the most important gift you can give yourself is to be informed.  And I've been selective.  I've chosen with care, carefully considered options.  And I was in the fortunate position of having the luxury of time and money at this time of my life.  And I intend to use it to HAVE the TIME OF MY LIFE.

So, what is my emotional state of mind?

OPTIMISTIC!

Now, with that in mind....let's get back to the TASK.

Oh, first though, I mentioned a yoga mat.  I intend to use it.  I do.  To learn to be skilful, supple and strong.

But right now, and for some time now,  I haven't had room to unroll my yoga mat.

And no I'm not exaggerating.  The liveable space in my small two bedroomed house has shrunk. Until the task is completed .......well, there's no living the time of my life.

Now there is irony in this because being mindful, living in the NOW, is a key part of that.  So I can't ignore this task a minute longer.
I must embrace it
I must relish it
I must enjoy it
and however sad and dusty and smelly and downright difficult it gets it's got to be done.

Sorry, what?  Oh, you want pictures?  Ok.  Maybe just one or two.
Wouldn't want you to feel TOTALLY ******* OVERWHELMED aswell would I?

Over two hundred boxes and bags.  We've lived like this for several months now.  No, it's not our stuff.  But it is our task, ok, MY task to deal with it.  Long story, another time. So I leave it to you if you feel the need to ask questions, offer advice, feel empathy....feel free to comment or to move on silently.  I have resources and support.  Many.  I mention two - I take today's title 'Weaving a path' from Cindy's weekly wisdom at 365lessthings where she describes her greatgrandparents house, and where decluttering is a lifeform (she guests on that blog thanks to the lovely and so helpful Colleen.  Tanja brings minimalist living with a human face and  love and support and a philosophical twist.  There are many others.  Decluttering.  The time of my life.

After that grimy grimness I'll leave you with a different view, the painting my guy bought for my birthday, of a favourite place, tranquil, remote, uncluttered, peaceful.  Ah bless.  Where is it?  

Ah.  Our secret.

Perfect.

Take care now

 xxxxx pamela